Sparking Joy

Carl Vallely, Head of Middle School
The following remarks were delivered to The Middle and Upper School Community during Opening Convocation:

Before the pandemic, Marie Kando’s KonMari method went viral. The KonMari Method is a simple method of decluttering both literally and metaphorically. It uses a unique selection criterion that enables one to choose to hold onto only what sparks joy. You are not choosing what to discard but rather choosing to keep only the items and things that speak to your heart. Through this, Kando says, you can reset your life and surround yourself with the people and things that you love the most. While some found this to be a bit silly, many people swear by this method in order to bring joy and let go of things that are not serving them. 
 
When this method came into the zeitgeist, we had no idea that soon we would be stripped of many basic joys because of the COVID-19 pandemic, including even being able to just BE with family, friends, and loved ones. Going out to dinner.  Competing on athletic fields. Performing on stage. Going to the gym or in my case Soulcycle. Traveling. Even simply coming to school. I think the pandemic taught many of us what is really important, and that is one of the reasons the senior administrative team felt choosing the theme of “Finding Balance, Finding Joy” was the perfect one for the 2022-2023 school year. 
 
But what is joy? And how is it different from happiness? J.D. Salinger, the author of Catcher in the Rye, once wrote, "The fact is always obvious much too late, but the most singular difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid and joy a liquid.”
 
For me, joy is deeper than happiness. Joy is in your soul and in your body, where happiness is something you wear briefly on your face. Happiness is an outward emotion, while joy is an inward ellation, peace, and sense of contentment. Happiness is temporary, where real joy is lasting and limitless. 
 
As we head into a new school year, I hope you will consider what you can do to spark joy for yourself in your life and here at Brimmer. Perhaps it is trying something new within our Creative Arts or Athletic departments, diving into an academic discipline you love, joining a new club, or forging new friendships. As you go through this new year, ask yourself - is this sparking joy for me? And in doing so, you can also ask yourself - what do I need to let go of in order to bring joy into my life. 
 
And as you do remember these words from professor and author Henri Nouwen: 
 
“Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day”
As an inclusive private school community, Brimmer welcomes students who will increase the diversity of our school. We do not discriminate on the basis of race, religion, sex, gender, gender identity and expression, disability, sexual orientation, national origin, ancestry, or any other characteristic protected from discrimination under state or federal law, in the administration of our educational policies, admissions practices, financial aid decisions, and athletic and other school-administered programs.